When I reached in Kerala and found myself standing on roads looking for conveyance to roam around I found 2 ways to do so: bus or autos and they could give serious competition to each other on HOW-TO-DIE-FASTER scale
Sit just once in any of the aforementioned god forsaken mode of transport and you will know that DGCA isn’t the only department that needs checking. I can bet 50 bucks that these people were some F1 drivers or something and landed in Kerala by mistake.
1. Buses: The fact that strikes the 1st timer the most is the color of the buses which is red. That could mean a lot of things. When I got into 1 of the buses, the driver couldn’t care less and I almost fell back on the road when a gentleman held me with his hand, because buses in Kerala don’t have gates or windows. Instead they have drapes on the windows in case of sudden rain or in a very possible emergency when you suddenly realize that the driver is actually drunk and need to jump to save your life. Talk about being multi purpose! There are ropes inside bus connected to a bell near driver.so jus in case you are feeling lucky, you can try testing your Calcium Sandoz bone strength by jumping from the window itself. And oh don’t try to pull the macho act in buses. Cling on to something anything you can find if you want to survive the journey in 1 piece because using the brakes is forbidden on corners. The drivers look certified drunkards still annoyed that force India didn’t come to Kerala for driver recruitment. I could certainly feel how f1 drivers would be feeling trapped inside that small vehicle. And time an again their will be some gentleman trying to shove his THIS-IS-KERALA-MAN thing up your nose.
2. Autos: statuary warning: don’t ever get into autos in Kerala if you have a heart problem or you don’t like the phrase “heart in your mouth”. And being an atheist doesn’t help either. You will need to believe in a supreme power, which can control everything. Because trust me the moment you sit in some auto after much yelling and signal talking, you cant help your hand fold in the praying position. Apparently there is no speed limit for autos. And consider yourself lucky if you can survive an auto trekking without bruises or broken bones. Pay the gentleman, thank your good heavens and go live the happy life. When two autos at speed of sound pass each other on a rain drenched road, you can’t do anything but pray for your life.
Going somewhere in Kerala is a real TASK, if you know what I mean. You actually have to keep your life on the line for that.
PS-people are really good if they are not driving something mechanical