Sunday, July 1, 2012

Step by step guide to after-marriage behavior: dummy ladiss guide


Ladies, after getting married behave, or are expected to behave, different. And it is same everywhere. I tried to list some of the after- marriage behavior. Without further ado or Scooby dooby doo, here goes:

Step 1: Get married.

Step 2: Update relationship status to ‘Married to..’, change profile picture to couple pic. Harass the other half to do so.

Step 3: upload xxxxx number of pictures with weird captions and reply to each comment meticulously. If they don’t like your comment, threaten suicide.

Step 4: Keep tab of who wished and who didn’t while also pretending to be super busy.

Step 5: Look for cues to go into detailed discussion of how your married life is different and it doesn’t suck at all!

Step 6: Make it a point to wear hell lot of bangles to workplace.



Step 7: Start each sentence with ‘you know my husband also….’

Step 8: Grab single guys and take pity on them about how they don’t know what it is they are missing.

Step 9: Get up and go to the nearest corner when your phone rings while also smiling profusely so EVERYONE knows who it is (WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE).

Step 10: Reply everyone who wishes with ‘oh you should have come’. Now that its over, you can pretend to care.

Step 11: look for married ladiss or people with ‘I HAVE A BOYFRAAND/GIRLFRAAND’ signboard across their chest (or similar location) around you and be super social with them.

Step 12: Standard template of answer to the question ‘How was weekend’ should always contain ‘you know WE thought………, but …….’ ALWAYS.


These are just observations and I would like to say this with utmost sincerity that everything you find similar is fictitious. did you notice something else, have something to add? \m/oO\m/

14 comments:

  1. Suberb observation.. :) Every point is correct . I agree.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I see that writing has made you an expert in several areas....You know my husband says so,,,,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gosh!!! No doubts you were a woman in your 'pechle janam'. Kaise Kaise hamare thoughts itne zehrayi se pad liye tumne.
    ROLF post. Awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hee hee hee i am not exactly sure how to react to this. however i am surprised to see you speak/write hindi

      Delete
  4. Hahaha that is what is exactly happening on facebook :D :D I can relate to these points sooo well as I have been at the receiving end of it :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, its like flickr has outsourced its work to fb. but i maintain my previous stance that its all fictional

      Delete
  5. LOL... Someone pissed you off big time with their "I'm-so-happily-married-the-moon-is-over-me" is it? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Dignified silence* thanks for reading chocolate wali

      Delete
  6. Nice Observation Mr. MAD-hav, Though I could not relate to any of your point..:P
    I wonder how curiously tou observe Married-LADISS.! ;)
    I liked the Wink-Wink-Nudge-Nudge Portion..Funny..! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hee hee hee, thanks for the compliment

      Delete
  7. maniac.hunter
    Looked up your blog posts after quite some time and made up for the lost opportunities. But the way you neatly categorizing and summarizing people and things- digitalizing them - you may usher another revolution. Keep it up. By the way are there any tips for us unfortunate blokes who committed the indiscretion of getting married before the Face book made it so easy. Any retrospective remedies?
    Find your writings effervescent and it gives me great delight to imagine the discomfiture of the purists with the liberties you sometimes take with the language. I am back to blogging so I tought I might as well charge up on my humour quotient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. let me start by saying its an honor that you have taken so much time to read and comment. as for the tips, i am about to be slaughtered myself in soem years so lets see. will keep you updated ;)

      Delete

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...