Things not to say while in Delhi

*It poured here and I am too happy (read lazy) to write anything, so sharing an old draft*

After having lived in Delhi for almost 2 years, I have successfully concluded that people here can take a joke like no other Indian city (conditions apply). People can laugh at the strangest of things here which is a rare sight in rest of India. Maybe it’s because of the cultural khichdi that the capital has become, I cant put a finger on it. However there are certain things which can get you laughed at, punched or even killed. dont tell me i didn't warn you, here goes:

1.   Metro station and railway station are two DIFFERENT things?

2. NO I DON’T KNOW WHO YOUR DAD IS, YOU TRIED ASKING YOUR MOM?

3.   Oh yes, Aakar patel and me are childhood buddies. Nice fellow that.

4. What exactly does ‘tumhaare maa ki aankh’ means?

5. Where do I find ‘phecho’?

6. Pakistani team has better players this time, they might win.

7. All Punjabi’s are sardaar’s no?

8. Since 1800, its being called ‘nayi sadak’ only?

9. Why are you people doing bale balle all the time?

10. You know Kerala has highest literacy rate in India.

11. Suggest a nice place to have dosa no?

12. Oh my god, you don’t know who your dad is?

13. This Kareem’s fellow is a big con man. I have had better kebabs.

14. You are lying, it’s not possible that you are from Delhi.

15. Ye road tere baap ki hai kya?

16. But you know I kind of agree with the madrasan.

17. You mean this qutub guy died while building this tower? What a fool.

18. Akon is way better than Honey singh.

19. Whats with you people and butter?

So now you have a fair idea why people get into fights here? Because they cant stop saying these sentences to each other. Also, there might be some of them I missed so don’t push your luck too much while visiting Delhi for the first time.
(some friends came to visit Delhi for the first time is what inspired this post) \m/oO\m/