15 Reasons not to watch ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’

*This is NOT a review, No Spoilers*

Finally Gangs of Wasseypur released and if it weren’t for the stupid John Doe order by the studio for this movie, as a moviegoer, I couldn’t have asked for more. But there are reasons you should avoid this movie. Oh yes, I found 15 of them. Surprised? Here are 15 reasons why you should avoid it:

1. You think Godfather (part 1 and 2) was just another movie.

2.  The name Tarantino doesn’t ring a bell/fire a shot.

3. You are a feminist, enough said.

4.   ‘A walk to remember’ is your favorite movie.

5.    You have never heard of ‘Haasil’.

6. You idolize Salman khan.

7. You recently had a bypass surgery.

8. Your dad is super excited about it and asks if you want to tag along.

9. You didn’t understand what was so epic about ‘Black Friday’.

10. You support MNS.

11. You don’t understand why everyone is so gung-ho about a certain Sneha Kanwalkar and think she’s over-rated.

12.  Politics is one area you don't like to bother yourself with.

13. You didn’t like ‘Love, Sex aur dhokha’

14. You find the seats of multiplexes a little too comforting.

15. You are a serial killer.

16. You remember i said only 15 reasons.

If you don’t fall in any of these categories, grab your bunch of friends, find your nearest ‘single’ screen theatre and savor the brilliance of cinema, watch it explode in your face one bullet at a time. Also, you are welcome. \m/oO\m/

Music accross genres: same or different

Recently I listened to the latest offering of coke studio (Pakistan, Indian version sucked) where aatif sang some nusrat song and it was kind of a reprise, of course with coke studio signature twist. Needless to say, loved it. Pure bliss. It kind of cemented my old belief that every music be it heavy metal or Indian classical is not too different from each other (except for rap and hip-hop because frankly speaking, I don’t understand it/that). During numerous drunk conversations during college times (yes, politics and music are the best ‘drunk debate’ topics), I have kind of defended my stand almost alone when people would refuse to believe, and understandably so, why and how two so different genres of music could possibly be similar in any way. Wish they aired sound trippin then.

  Earliest instances of music known to Indians was found in Kerala (source: the story of India: BBC) where mantras were passed on verbally by making it in music format for generations, some of them still going on. This sound was similar to noises birds make in different seasons. This verses/phrases of mantras were never scripted and was kept strictly verbal. In due course of time Indian classical evolved and with remarkable contributions from different maestros, got fine tuned. The history of heavy metal or rock n roll per se, isn’t that long (not judging here). Elvis primarily gets credit for bringing it to limelight and popular media but I am sure there were many other musicians as well. And if we talk music, opera comes really close to Indian classic in its purest form for the sheer effect of singer’s voice (taansen, anyone?). Unrelated, have you ever noticed a slim opera singer?

 Rock (and every format of metal referred to for sake of this post) basically has rebellion at heart. Every lyric deals or challenges a particular belief of society as we know it. Case in point, 2 minutes to midnight (iron maiden) dealt with female foeticide way back in 80’s(even before #SMJ). This holds true for each and every song you come across of this genre.  While the fabric of the song might deal with some life philosophy, the underlying fact always is about questioning society’s orthodox belief (extensive Pink Floyd is suggested if you disagree). And if we look into the folk songs or poetries by great Urdu writers (which more often than not get translated into songs), the same flavor is present. Probably the reason why ‘kahin dur jab din dhaljaye(anand)’ sounds erringly similar to a certain ‘wish you were here(pink floyd)’.

 Having said that, then there are folks who dismiss the very idea of a certain kind of music without listening to it citing reason such as too much music, weird lyrics; the very thing that sets it apart from other genres, which kind of defeats the whole purpose of comparison. I am sure lot of people wont agree but the point I am trying to make here is, the songs may look different  at the surface but delve a little deeper and you will see the similarity. Probably the reason Coke studio took everyone by surprise when some guys decided that it will be a pretty good idea to mix two completely different kind of music, it turned out to be pure awesomeness. The brilliance is visible when a guitar weilding Ali Azmat's Garaja baras (Rock, if I may?) and sufi/classical(a sublime Rahat Fateh Ali Khan) are mixedtogether. Seriously if you appreciate good music, try coke studio (Pakistan version, they ruined it in Indian version).

 Now, the argument can go both ways depending on the extent of your inclination towards your music, and some arguing in favor of fusion music, but I stick to my argument. Do you agree/disagree? \m/oO\m/

Governance you say?

There has been a lot that’s going on this week which made me question the IQ of people governing us or planning to govern us and wonder what are they snorting in their free time and whether they are willing to share. First up was the raid by Mumbai police on a ‘rave’ party, which is brilliant move I must say. Total respect; take a bow whoever used the complex calculation to reach the decision that the party in question WAS indeed a rave. Pity those people who decided that the best place to organize a rave party will be in the middle of the town AND advertise about it on Facebook too. Unrelated, I have found myself searching for rave word far often after this to see if someone is planning something in my locality.

 I wasn’t even done with showering praises on Mumbai police when our esteemed leaders of opposition decided to take matters in their own hands (no pun intended) and stumbled upon the brilliant idea that not letting anyone work would be a very effective way to bring down petrol prices, which were increased by the evil government to bring down exchange rates (pffffft). So, they declared a bharat bandh, which was voluntarily supported by people who are earning around 80000 per month and get offended by, believe it or not, cartoons. Let me take this opportunity to highlight that as I child I was terribly offended when Dexter made fun of his low-IQ sister. Never the less, since it was a bandh so, people were not allowed to go to work, public transport was stopped and buses were burnt just in case the act wasn’t effective enough. Do you have a better idea to bring down petrol prices? Logic wasn’t our minister’s forte anyway. Last I read petrol prices have actually come down by 2 rs. No, Mamta banerjee hasn’t expressed her happiness yet and all cartoonists who could depict her otherwise have either been locked up, or have abandoned the profession completely. also, Kapil Sibal.

  Govt has such gems working for it/us that some guy actually managed to calculate the total loss incurred to country because of bandh. Yes, an actual figure. I have got to find the person and learn how this is done (In your face, Sheldon cooper!). Some calculation that. I bet Mumbai police is involved here somehow but that is just my gut feeling. Speaking of Mumbai police, now it is mandatory to get a drinking permit before you decide to indulge in your favorite drink in Mumbai. Yes, it is a rule. The card states that you need to consume alcohol ‘due to health reasons’ (I would have pointed out the irony here, but I trust your intelligence). This card should be on you every time, especially if you run into police at a rave party or you should consider shifting base to gurgaon where the number of rules you have to follow is inversely proportional to your monthly salary (not applicable to women after 8). I whole-heartedly recommend a bharat ratna to the person who came up with the idea of issuing license to drink and maintained a straight face while announcing it like a real rule. However, it would have been of tremendous help if they mentioned the agent’s numbers to get it done at the earliest. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CAN BE COPIED? There certainly has been no issue with fake passports now is it?

  But I am not complaining about either of the so called problems because a paper down south has hailed Rowdy Rathore, which is a remake of a remake, an outstanding movie and at the time of writing Salman khan has confirmed that bodyguard (produced by reliance) is going to have sequel.

  So all is not bad then is it? Awesome government we have. Hip hip hurray!