riders on storm:my kerala adventures-part-2

When I reached in Kerala and found myself standing on roads looking for conveyance to roam around I found 2 ways to do so: bus or autos and they could give serious competition to each other on HOW-TO-DIE-FASTER scale

Sit just once in any of the aforementioned god forsaken mode of transport and you will know that DGCA isn’t the only department that needs checking. I can bet 50 bucks that these people were some F1 drivers or something and landed in Kerala by mistake.


1. Buses: The fact that strikes the 1st timer the most is the color of the buses which is red. That could mean a lot of things. When I got into 1 of the buses, the driver couldn’t care less and I almost fell back on the road when a gentleman held me with his hand, because buses in Kerala don’t have gates or windows. Instead they have drapes on the windows in case of sudden rain or in a very possible emergency when you suddenly realize that the driver is actually drunk and need to jump to save your life. Talk about being multi purpose! There are ropes inside bus connected to a bell near driver.so jus in case you are feeling lucky, you can try testing your Calcium Sandoz bone strength by jumping from the window itself. And oh don’t try to pull the macho act in buses. Cling on to something anything you can find if you want to survive the journey in 1 piece because using the brakes is forbidden on corners. The drivers look certified drunkards still annoyed that force India didn’t come to Kerala for driver recruitment. I could certainly feel how f1 drivers would be feeling trapped inside that small vehicle. And time an again their will be some gentleman trying to shove his THIS-IS-KERALA-MAN thing up your nose.


2. Autos: statuary warning: don’t ever get into autos in Kerala if you have a heart problem or you don’t like the phrase “heart in your mouth”. And being an atheist doesn’t help either. You will need to believe in a supreme power, which can control everything. Because trust me the moment you sit in some auto after much yelling and signal talking, you cant help your hand fold in the praying position. Apparently there is no speed limit for autos. And consider yourself lucky if you can survive an auto trekking without bruises or broken bones. Pay the gentleman, thank your good heavens and go live the happy life. When two autos at speed of sound pass each other on a rain drenched road, you can’t do anything but pray for your life.



Going somewhere in Kerala is a real TASK, if you know what I mean. You actually have to keep your life on the line for that.

PS-people are really good if they are not driving something mechanical

\m/oO\m/

The JEANS incident: my Kerala adventures-part 1

When I Google’d up Kochi (or Ernakulum as it is fondly called) after my posting location mail appeared before me a number of things came up which I found out later were of no use. But one advice by a senior of mine turned to be true and how.

When I landed in Kochi it was raining as ALWAYS, that’s right.kerala’s rain capital is kochi which is 2nd rainiest place in India. and once every 4 years takes over the crown from cherapunji as the rainiest place in India. it was the 4th year. And it rained cats and dogs day and night.
Rain causes moisture and my clothes would get fungus in 2-3 days if left in open. it were as if god wanted me to hav the taste of life when everything is against you how do u live

I was a trainee with my first firm and people were of all kinds,ranging from pretty good to shrewd to complete I-CAN-BLOW-YOUR-BRAINS-OFF kinds jackasses.and I wasn’t doing what you would call particularly well with my training. it’s simple.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND JAVA

But coder and other geniuses weren’t making it any easier for me. I was sick, sleep deprived and felt completely out of place. We would have to travel some 12-13 km’s to reach a decent market but somehow It was not the most weird part. It was the good old sardaarji who saved my life for 6 month’s(he deserves a special mention so more on that later).
Oh by the way did I mention that food in Kerala is unbearable if u like mild spices and are not fond of coconut oil,that’s right coconut oil.and lets just stick to the good old “IT STINKS”. You don’t want to try that.dont fall for god’s own country crap on that front.pack your food or find me I will give you that sardar ji’s number. Moving on the moisture,food and training thing had made me a little cranky(read PSYCHO if u want to).
So on another rain drenched night when my rommie wanted to go for shopping it was a perfect nightmare in making. We went out nevertheless in rain and trust me when you are out on roads looking for a auto or something to get into while it rains, is absolutely NOT FUNNY or ROMANTIC.
We reached the only decent place to shop in the city, THE MALL that is, found ourselves the cheapest shirt they had,we enquired it was made of plastic, that’s right no cleaning required for 15 straight days. TRIED AND TESTED! Gross u say? Go live in kerala for 6 months and we will talk
My friend wanted a jeans for himself so he went ahead and bought jeans


while I indulged myself with baskin-robbins,and then we went looking for autos for back home.
I was carrying 4 bags and my roomie was carrying 4,#monthlyshoppingroutine’s
So 1 stop for the good old dosa and we were back in our igloos

After some 1 hour or so of catching our breath and un-DRENCHING ourselves.my roomie came back and said
“dude,where is the jeans???”
“Crap.i couldn’t find it.damn you weather.” I said I will pay him back because it was my mistake obviously.tried hard but cudnt remember where I left it amidst all the rush
I was so pissed off for 2-3 days that I wanted to hit that bloody trainer. She was a female so execution was put to rest but it was like universe wanted me to hit someone, somewhere very badly.
I even zeroed in on few people, but diplomacy always comes into play,DAMNIT!

So I went about my pathetic life in kerala normally when 1 day we visited the shop again for that dosa and the shopkeeper told us in his GLAD-I-COULD-SPEAK hindi
“aapka saaman reh gaya tha auto mein us raat ko,auto wala keh raha tha.itni costly jeans khareedte ho?”
At first I thought he was making jokes, but then he took out the bag and their it was safe and sound
I thanked my heavens for that auto guy.never got a chance to meet him again though.

Psst:next time when you leave something in some auto or bus or any public transport,be sure it will be returned to you safe and sound if they can trace you back.god’s own country indeed!

Had so many adventures to pen down in 1 post.will write more about other things


\m/oO\m/


you might also like

my experiment wid TEA in god's OWN country

my experiment wid TEA in god's OWN country

for my first of many jobs i plan to take up...i was sent to kochi,kerala as a trainee....an wen i looked it up on internet aal i cud find was it was famous for spices an ppl r realy nice(believe me wen i say dis....dey r)....an dere is a lot(an i mean lot) of usage of coconut oil.so i flied to kochi from my place(courtesy my dad's money) an the first thing that i look for wen i go to any place is TEA(who doesnt apart from d ppl who smoke...its jus that tea makes at no 2 on dere TO DO list )

an so i was greeted by a small shop owner on the airport who sereved tea.

surprisingly his shop was a lil sus starndard considerin it was the airport and kerala boasts of a lot of footfall from out of the country....never the less...i ordered a MASALA TEA ;) an in no time it was ready...i was shocked to say d least(i dont even see a stove anywhere)...oh yes..kerala has its own style of tea makin.

so my first cup of tea in kerala cost me 10 rs on airport(IN UR FACE CAFE COFEE DAY)

now the thin about kochi is that it has d most rainfall in country after cherapunji(for intellectually challenged ppl..its d raniest place in india).....more on my kerala adventure later..

so kerala kas a lil unique ishtyle of makin tea...according to dem...tea is either brown(wen it has milk) or black(wen it doesnt)...an sugar is STRICTLY optional..(quater a kg per glass of tea)

so u see wen u order a tea..(cheta,RUND tea)...he ll assume u belong to some desert ridden place an u havent seen water in a lil while an serve u boiled tea leaves without the tea leaves...

an it tastes pathetic...i had tried at almost all d joint i cud find...no rescue...i was so frustrated wid tea that i switched to coffee so i dont hav to smell that crap(i SIMPLY hate those MIX n READY coffee)...i wud come down to blore jus to hav tea in that lil shop near my hostel(oh yes watever ur name is....for 3 years...u SAVED my life...thanks a ton)...

for almost 5 months i somehow gulped down d SO CALLED tea...

sometimes havin d free stuff served between trainin sessions helped...but to those who r goin to kerala for d 1st tym....AVOID TEA..

an to all those ppl who long for a decent cup of tea wenever dey get up(rulin put the d mornin concept here.....HIGH 5)......d search for cup of tea continues....way to go :)

\m/oO\m/